Danny that's the way it should be of course. My dentist gave me a calculator with his name on it once. I was appreciative but puzzled. He also gave me a tooth-shaped fridge magnet with his name on it (the only thing it held to the fridge was itself). IMHO the rules are different for business. (Too) many people frame your gesture as a manipulation, especially if they can see the moving parts. It's great when they don't. - Ian PS I like my dentist.

Ok I want to chime in if I may...sometimes a lollipop is just a lollipop! :) Perhaps it's just a genuine act of kindness, not a manipulation. Perhaps this conversation highlights how the meaning, or success the of a gesture is influenced by the filters the recipient see it through. Perhaps it reminds us to analyse our own filters and consider how others might view our best intentions (or manipulations). Perhaps it's urges back up plans, or options! Anyway, I am with Danny on this one. It's was great intention and that needs more acknowledgment! Not many restaurants do anything..you might even have to keep asking for water, or to order your drinks. I would appreciate that platter being offered even if I didn't like oysters....I also would like it if my doctor's practise gave me a lollipop and a smile as I paid to leave (others might think they're being treated like a kid though...oh it's so tricky!) No thy audience. ...and hey, if you know me, you'd know I'd say thank you and enquire if it could be oyster platter could be swapped (or if i could have a red lollipop)...hahaha just kidding ...well ok, maybe not. Adri

I think I have a different take on this, I'm gonna think aloud. First things first - I agree with the idea, and it does feel great to be recognized as an individual as opposed to a formulaic response... but... I know I know - when someone says 'but' it means ignore everything I just said, this is how I really feel, and in this case it's only partly true ;-) I think people do care how hard you try, I hope so - sure not all the time but I hope so. Visiting the Doctors the other week I was offered a green lollipop on my way out for being such a good boy. They didn't know if I was diabetic or if I preferred green to red - they just offered a formulaic 'extra mile' - maybe inch. Turns out I'm not diabetic, but don't really love green, but hey I still walked out with a smile. A for Effort. Maybe I'm easy to please but I'd be grateful for an extra mile, in any well-intentioned direction. Being sincere goes a long way for me. Cheers Danny

Ok I want to chime in if I may...sometimes a lollipop is just a lollipop! :) Perhaps it's just a genuine act of kindness, not a manipulation. Perhaps this conversation highlights how the meaning, or success the of a gesture is influenced by the filters the recipient see it through. Perhaps it reminds us to analyse our own filters and consider how others might view our best intentions (or manipulations). Perhaps it's urges back up plans, or options! Anyway, I am with Danny on this one. It's was great intention and that needs more acknowledgment! Not many restaurants do anything..you might even have to keep asking for water, or to order your drinks. I would appreciate that platter being offered even if I didn't like oysters....I also would like it if my doctor's practise gave me a lollipop and a smile as I paid to leave (others might think they're being treated like a kid though...oh it's so tricky!) No thy audience. ...and hey, if you know me, you'd know I'd say thank you and enquire if it could be oyster platter could be swapped (or if i could have a red lollipop)...hahaha just kidding ...well ok, maybe not. Adri

I think I have a different take on this, I'm gonna think aloud. First things first - I agree with the idea, and it does feel great to be recognized as an individual as opposed to a formulaic response... but... I know I know - when someone says 'but' it means ignore everything I just said, this is how I really feel, and in this case it's only partly true ;-) I think people do care how hard you try, I hope so - sure not all the time but I hope so. Visiting the Doctors the other week I was offered a green lollipop on my way out for being such a good boy. They didn't know if I was diabetic or if I preferred green to red - they just offered a formulaic 'extra mile' - maybe inch. Turns out I'm not diabetic, but don't really love green, but hey I still walked out with a smile. A for Effort. Maybe I'm easy to please but I'd be grateful for an extra mile, in any well-intentioned direction. Being sincere goes a long way for me. Cheers Danny

Danny that's the way it should be of course. My dentist gave me a calculator with his name on it once. I was appreciative but puzzled. He also gave me a tooth-shaped fridge magnet with his name on it (the only thing it held to the fridge was itself). IMHO the rules are different for business. (Too) many people frame your gesture as a manipulation, especially if they can see the moving parts. It's great when they don't. - Ian PS I like my dentist.